Unit 9

Task 1:

From the very start of my journey as an actor 2 years ago to right now, i have always thought of one thing. Improvement. Before coming to college i had high doubts of myself as being able to perform, let alone become an actor. I've always had a great passion for acting, from watching people on television, on stage or even watching my favourite animated shows who had voice actors, ive always envisioned myself in that space. Though my original step into further education was nothing to do with acting on any level, in fact i chose public services to be my course. 

Having lived in a household which raised me to always think "practically", i was always discouraged from having any dreams or going into a profession that wouldn't guarantee a normal blue collar life. That was the reason that i had chosen Public Services, to secure myself a job as a policeman. When i had first started the course, i was excited and envisioned myself as being part of the police, or possibly going into the navy, both things i had said i wanted to do for a long time. However, in my free time i liked to voice act, to roleplay, to learn instruments and create art, this is what i wanted to do, i just didn't know it yet. Acting was always at the forefront of my brain, yet so far dethatched from something i would be able to do i had never thought about studying it or actually pursuing it.

That is where my time at Stockton Riverside came in. I had taken a year in-between, not knowing what to do with my life and just working my time away at a full time job which i absolutely hated. After a year and a half of the same day after day i had enough and quit, leaving myself in a limbo once more and not knowing where to go. In other news, my brother had started a course at Stockton Riverside, he was 4 years older than me and he was pursuing what he wanted to do, what he had always dreamed of, i realised how i had been stuck. I applied immediately for the next year course and was excited from the moment i heard about it, counting down the months before i started the rest of my life.

The Ghost Light Tours 2022:

This was my first ever performance, in any sense. I had never acted professionally before, never mind in front of an audience, i was terrified so what do i decide to do? Audition for the main role. A stupid decision looking back on it yet once i do not and will never regret! It was a throw in the water to learn how to swim situation, i still had so many doubts about myself and yet i had put myself in the front of the line. Not only would this be performing in front of an audience, it was a tour! I would be with the audience the whole time, not leaving a single second to get away when the performance had started, i had lines to learn for the first time ever, i had a character to delve into and bring to life.

Charles Lewis was my first ever character, and one that i made sure to bring to life, we did workshops, research, and the best part of it all? I got to play the character with my brother, it helped that in the script the two characters were also brothers but there was just something about being the main part alongside the person who had inspired me to be on this course, on this journey, in the first place that hit home. It felt like this was something i was made and born to do. There is a rush you get when performing, its unlike anything ive ever felt, and each time i feel it its like the first time again, its not like a high or anything like that. Its like im finally free. All this time building up that character, making him real inside your head and then performing that to the audience, i dont believe there's a feeling like it and i am so happy that im able to experience that feeling while putting on a show, while doing what i love.

We brought the audience throughout the Globe theatre! Telling a story throughout which was based on the actual history of Stockton. Our characters Alfred & Charles Lewis, the two real life owners of the globe when it was first opened, Mrs Chadwick the grumpy theatre manager, and a bunch more characters that were real and all were implemented and acted out perfectly. This wasn't only my first time acting, but it was the first time performing with my peers, or any peers at all! I cant lie and say i wasn't a little nervous to be performing not only in front of the audience, but the friends i had made in the first few months of being on the course. We ended up working perfectly together and it only brought us all closer, i now consider us family.

I talk in depth about each performance and my journey through them more in my blog post here: 

https://www.blogger.com/u/1/blog/post/edit/7332563736841736639/1127539371974939136

https://www.blogger.com/u/1/blog/post/edit/7332563736841736639/7978472987106234009

https://www.blogger.com/u/1/blog/post/edit/7332563736841736639/265994441971192501

Filming at Whitby Abbey:

My first time acting in front of a camera! We had learned previously to this experience that acting on stage was drastically different from film acting. For one, the close ups mean you really have to show emotion on your face, you have to tell a story about how you're feeling with a few expressions while also delivering lines which convey the same thing. This was something i experienced first hand while filming up on Whitby Abbey, particularly the part about multiple takes! It just so happened that the character i played got tackled to the ground and i had to fall in the correct way! Which left quite a few retakes to say the least! 

We travelled all over the abbey, using the space to our utmost advantage and i made sure to use it all to be the foundation of my experience acting in film. I loved it, just the same, something i was sceptical about. If i would feel the same rush from performing in front of a live audience to performing in front of a camera. It was then when i realised it wasn't the audience that made it happen. Being that character, performing that character for whatever it was, that did it. Being in that scene as whoever i was that time, that's what made it happen, what reminded me that this is what i wanted to do with the rest of my life.

The film we were a part of was called Jager, my character was called Jason. The plot of the movie was that some kind of entity had began controlling the abbey and replacing them. Jason began running from it, being chased through repeating hallways and open fields, he (I) was then tackled to the floor where it was revealed that the entity following him was him as a demon who had taken his place and lured his friends in to get the demon versions of themselves to do the same. I just loved it, the direction, the story, it was incredible to play a dual role as a speaking human, and a non verbal but equally prevalent demon version of himself.

I talk in depth about my experience at Whitby Abbey and the film i was in here:

https://www.blogger.com/u/1/blog/post/edit/7332563736841736639/188568505342595728

The Wizard of Oz:

If i could describe this show in one word it would be: Beginning. That might seem like a strange word to use since i have performed twice professionally before this, with Jager, my first film and The Ghost Light Tours, but this was different. In TGLT there were lines sure, but in between those lines there was space to fill, silence to break and so improv was at the forefront of the role. This was fine and actually very enjoyable to do! It reinforced the notion that i could improv on the fly, yet in a way it kind of took me out of "playing a specific  character" as i had put so much of my own humour with my brother into the improv. Of course it worked splendidly and the audience loved it, but although i was speaking through the character, and remained in character the whole time, it felt as if i was doing two performances in one.

This was different, The Wizard of Oz is and always will be my first ever true dead to rights stage performance, and my first full character act, i was cast as the Royal Historian/The Wizard. From the start to the finish i was the character, i had to put in the work to make the character through the lines and bring the paper to the act, and i loved every second of it. I loved the way that i was seen as this almighty power, only to be discovered to be a little wimp who had deceived everyone with his manipulation and was finally found out. I promise that's not a red flag, but the switch in personality was incredibly fun and an experience like no other. At least thats what i thought! But that's for further down.

I wondered if the experience of being thrown into the deep end with TGLT would pay off and it absolutely did! I felt no nerves, just that feeling of freedom, yet this time it was amplified greatly! I remember little from that performance apart from a few important moment, one of those is when i looked towards the audience while on stage. Nothing. Well i shouldnt say nothing, there was blinding lights staring back at me and a few out of focus faces here and there when i remember it, but not in the moment. When i looked towards the audience i saw nothing, as if there wasnt one there and i was truly in this world. I was in my role, of course i knew there was an audience there but they were just invisible. The role was truly an honour to play and one of my favourites of all time.

It was also an incredible bonding experience for my peers, we all shared tears and dread for the upcoming performance but we had backstage speeches, comradery and hugs to help us. This didn't get rid of all of the nerves but it absolutely dampened them. When i left the stage i left it with a smile, it was then i decided that i would pick each role with a challenge in mind, its quite obvious that the challenge this time was picking a big role for my first stage performance. Joining the course, my main fear was that i wouldn't be able to remember lines very well, however this role had quite the number of them and certainly alleviated that worry, though it still remained. All in all, this role is different, the same and the start all in one, and prepared me for my future performances.

I talk more about my role and performance in the wizard of oz here:

https://www.blogger.com/u/1/blog/post/edit/7332563736841736639/5296364188199273575

https://www.blogger.com/u/1/blog/post/edit/7332563736841736639/4381352130850412498

https://www.blogger.com/u/1/blog/post/edit/7332563736841736639/6989131204668819093

https://www.blogger.com/u/1/blog/post/edit/7332563736841736639/5067927001659628316

Connections 2023:

Connections was a new challenge in itself, I'd never competed before with my acting, but had become confident enough in myself through the three shows I had been a part of that I was ready to give it my all! Learning about the Connections process was really fascinating, different colleges and schools around the world all got a newer indie script and performed it in a certain location to be judged by people from the national theatre, the team that perform it the best get to do so at the national theatre in London! 

Our script was called Old Times, a play we all remember very fondly. This was a huge change of pace to anything we had done before, Old Times was a story about a boy who had cancer and his sister wanted to make a podcast about something them and their friend group had all done when they were kids. The play slowly picks up pace as the group all remember the tragic events which lead to the death of a police officer, the constant theme of the play is regret and blame, as they blame the death on one boy who had nothing to do with the murder, Tom Joy. I played Zafer, the boy who had cancer, the script never explicitly said which one of the pair had been the one to kill the officer, but digging into the script we had decided to implement a thought in everyone's heads that it was in fact Zafer, which allowed more emotion to be played into certain scenes, especially those between him and his sister, Stefi.

As suggested, this was a more sombre, emotional and realistic play which required a more realistic style of acting from everyone, something i, myself, had not done before. Theres my challenge, i thought. After reading the script for the first time i was in love, yet i wasnt sure at all which character to go for. Then picking it up again in my spare time i found that not only would Zafer be the biggest challenge for me, it spoke to me. I, like many others, have had family members who have succumbed to cancer, and seeing it happen first hand, i believed i could confidently and accurately portray the fake optimism and creeping dread which happens when someone is going through treatment, as was present in the script. I also believed that he showed the most realistically subtle and naturalistic type of acting that i was eager to challenge myself with.

When we arrived in York fire station to perform our connections play, it was an enjoyable experience from start to finish, countless rehearsals, we were all so determined to win and give our best performances for the audiences (Which we always do of course). However, though i felt more prepared than ever due to my growing list of experience on a stage, this would be new. My parents were in the audience, the same parents who had always discouraged my following of this kind of career path. The nerves started to eat at me like never before, even though i was prepared, i wasn't prepared for that. BUT! Nonetheless, i was able to put my best foot forward and we all, as a team, managed to smash it out of the park. This performance is very important to me and close to my heart, not only does it honour those ive lost to cancer, but it was the first time that those who wished "something better" for me had admitted to themselves that i made the right choice. 

I talk more about the national theatre connections 2022 project here:

https://www.blogger.com/u/1/blog/post/edit/7332563736841736639/2024727895608562796

https://www.blogger.com/u/1/blog/post/edit/7332563736841736639/8965610699238298786

Little Women:

I find a repeating pattern whenever i think back to my past performances, when i start writing about them its like a vault of memories open, each paragraph i want to start with "This was amazing" or "I had never done anything like this before" and while both are true, there just simply isn't any words i have for my feelings about Little Women, though i shall do my best to describe them. Little Women was the first show that i felt like i wasnt in education, everything was incredibly professional, the direction, the set, the cast, it was as if we were on tour and we hadnt even gone anywhere. 

The set itself was like nothing we had seen before, fancy tables, chairs, astro turf for certain scenes, it was as if we were in a ballroom. This of course was almost necessary for the story of Little Women, showing the background of the upper-class, while the forefront, the characters were in fact quite immature and showed a direct contrast to the set. The set changed throughout the play, with more space being given to the ball scene, and things being moved around for scenes like the family scene in which Jo irons a part of one of her sisters hair off. Building the set was less hands on as it had been in previous performances as instead of making things ourselves, we moved different pieces of already crafted furniture around the stage to convey the different scenes.

Laurie is the character that i have related to the most our of any of my current roles past or future to him. He is a child at heart, immature, yet mature when it matters, with people above him who wish for him to become something proper. He spends the entire play going against that which he is born into, it very much mirrored my own experience with my once disapproving parents, though like him, i decided to push on and follow exactly what i wanted to do. Continuously, he chases after Jo, with them being so similar, he naturally begins to have romantic feelings for her, these feelings build up slowly but surely and in a moment of truth, he confesses to her alone, and quite gushingly asks her to marry him. He is rejected and this becomes his turning point, as after this moment he is seen to be more mature and 'grown up'. This also relates to an experience of mine, yet not specifically the same it still hit close to home, and made me relate to the character even more!

My brother was Mr Brooks, the young fellow that spends his time tutoring Laurie, having him as the person who is mostly seen with Laurie himself, it was perfect, as we could audition together not only in college, but in our spare time too as we have dene previously in other roles. Sadly we werent in the same cast, but i feel this actually worked to our advantage, as Laurie and Brooks are not brothers and do not radiate brotherly energy, i made sure to keep my onstage relationship with Brooks as Laurie as close to student teacher as i could, conveying to the audience that he sees him as almost a source of authority, yet one he doesnt listen to when it comes to matters of maturity.

My challenge with Laurie was one of line learning, although i had been able to learn lines many times before, Laurie would have the most lines of any role i have played yet. I decided that this would be my challenged. If i could learn all these lines perfectly and perform them for the show, then i would know that i could do it for anything, and the doubt that i have taken with me throughout the entire year would be squashed. I spent many evenings alone, with my brother, and times at college with my cast going through the script, sadly i wasnt able to be as forefront as i had been with previous roles as i was also doing a film alongside it which i talk about more below. I was able to fulfil my challenge, and although i still have the stray thought of discouragement, i merely have to remember this performance and how proud it made me feel at the end of it.

I talk more in depth about my role, set design, and backstage role in Little Women here:

https://www.blogger.com/u/1/blog/post/edit/7332563736841736639/7907237984760416054

https://www.blogger.com/u/1/blog/post/edit/7332563736841736639/8238045831358698071

https://www.blogger.com/u/1/blog/post/edit/7332563736841736639/5175025555786866838

https://www.blogger.com/u/1/blog/post/edit/7332563736841736639/2072973484479511832

Turnips Tweeds & Tractors:

Turnips Tweeds and Tractors was my first auditioned film! It was an end of year film that i decided to do alongside Little Women, as i hadn't performed much film throughout the year. It was very fun to be able to do film acting again, it also featured one of my favourite types of acting, voice acting! I enjoy learning and performing different accents, something i have done with most of the projects i have been in. Yet the accent was different, it was a focal part of the story, the characters being from north Yorkshire. There a few things i regret in my time of acting, yet one of them was not spending more time on the accent before performing it, with my previous accent experience, i had gotten slightly overconfident in my ability to pick up accents and didn't spend the correct amount of time practicing it that i should have. This left the accent changing from Irish, to Yorkshire, to Scottish in some parts! I have learned a lesson from this, however, that i am never too knowledgeable to learn, even in things i am confident in! 

I am happy that this is a focal point in my film directory, the story was fun, the directors were amazing and it truly was an honour to be a part of. 

The Ghost Light Tours 2023

Doing TGLT for a second time was a surprise to me, yet not a bad one at all! I had new ideas, new things to research and best of all, a new project! The first of the year and it was truly incredible to see my progress from the first year of doing this show, to now. My confidence of performing in front of an audience was the best its ever been and i was surely ready to do it once more! We had taken a step back from limiting our characters from only being from the Stockton or Teesside area and included characters like Jack the Ripper, Queen Victoria, Plague Doctors, The Titanic. All were prevalent in our new performance, yet the one i took the most interest in was Jack the Ripper! 

In my old public services days, we studied the famous case of Jack the Ripper, depicting how the old agents of Scotland yard investigated the case, what they could have done better and how we would go about the investigation today with the technology we have today. This allowed us to research and look into the case and particularly the suspects and who we would think it was, and because of this i knew a lot about the case itself. This made research when auditioning for the role very easy! We followed a similar audition template as Little Women, writing our own monologue to perform as the character. While others wrote monologues as the character speaking to the audience, i decided to put my knowledge to use and make a letter that would be sent to Scotland yard by Jack the Ripper. This allowed me to stand out and bring what i knew to my character. 

Later on in the writing process, Kelly decided it would be a more enriching experience if there was multiple JtRs and allowed the audience to pick which one was the real one to be executed at the end of the show. As there were countless suspects, this played perfectly into the mystery of the character, i originally chose JtR as a role due to it being a non speaking role at the start. There was my challenge, a role that was purely physical, something i had never done before. Yet after multiple changes to the story, including the multiple JtRs, the role was given lines, those we had written ourselves no less! Now my challenge was making a character from a real person through research, not unlike the last time i had performed in TGLT! Yet this time i was prepared, could i do something similar more than once and still make it different and challenging? I believed i could, and i knocked it out of the park, to say im proud of my performance is an understatement.

Peter Pan

My first true dual role! Peter pan was also my first musical, singing on stage, so many challenges! I cant lie this one scared me, i had never challenged myself to date as much as i did with Peter Pan. The roles i played were Smee & Mr Darling, the dozy pirate second in command to captain hook, and the authoritarian Victorian father to the darling children. Like i said, i have had a constant fear of line learning since i started college, while it was subdued slightly after Little Women, this role brought back my fear. Less was i scared about forgetting the lines, but doing two characters, i was worried i would misplace the lines, saying the wrong ones for the wrong character in time. Luckily, when i actually got a hold of the script, it was a lot easier than i first imagined to divert my mind between the two characters.

Mr Darling was quite an easy role to get into, i had already done a similar role with Charles Lewis in my first year of The Ghost Light Tours 2022, an old upper-class gentleman, of course with my research of Peter Pan and how my character has been portrayed before i was able to find a unique way to play him that payed homage to my time as the previous Globe Theatre owner, but didn't mirror him in any way. I enjoyed this role thoroughly, being the time i got to sing on stage! I was quite nervous at first to do so, but once i began i realised it was just like talking, it was incredibly enjoyable! I would love to do more singing on stage or in any situation and certainly realised a new goal! One challenge done!

Smee was the role i originally auditioned for, with my first choice being Captain Hook. However, after some reflection i had realised two things, i had only picked Captain Hook because of the status of the role and that it wouldn't challenge me, also i had never played a comedic role before! It reminded me of back to The Wizard of Oz, the original role i wanted to go for was the cowardly lion due to the comedic nature of him, yet back then i wanted to prove to myself that i could step in the light and be confident with my acting skills. However, i knew already due to that and other experiences that that wasn't an issue anymore, so the natural next step was to try being funny on stage, something not easy.

I spent a lot of time researching both characters but definitely focused on Smee, he was on stage more than Mr. Darling for one, but also had the much harder role of being entertainingly funny to the audience. I studied how smee was portrayed in the original text in 1904, certainly a less funny kind of Smee but still quite stupid, i cross referenced with the more modern interpretations of the story which luckily included a more comedic and carefree Smee. I decided i would let these portrayals play into my own only so much, i wanted to be funny and carefree as the others had, but i wanted him to be my own character, i decided to wholeheartedly commit to being stupid, allowing my own insecurities to slip away.

Ironically, i had never seen Peter Pan before auditioning for this role, yet the process of research all the way up to performing, i loved it. The challenges i set for myself once again fulfilled and i had another name on my CV, truly one of my favourite performances to date!

I talk incredibly in depth about my process with peter pan and the performance here:

https://www.blogger.com/u/1/blog/post/edit/7332563736841736639/7825968578374809777

https://www.blogger.com/u/1/blog/post/edit/7332563736841736639/4069144271732529822

https://www.blogger.com/u/1/blog/post/edit/7332563736841736639/1380281657423984857

https://www.blogger.com/u/1/blog/post/edit/7332563736841736639/8094066134389001666

Of course for each one listed here i can only give my greatest thank you to my tutor Kelly Fairhurst, she has consistently been our biggest supporter and her ideas are the foundation and bricks that lay in every performance we have done. Each one better than the last. Thank you Kelly, if not for you i wouldnt be an actor, i wouldn't know what to do with myself and i would still be in that Limbo that i found myself in two years ago. You have set me on the journey to be my best self and to continue to perform. You are a constant inspiration to so many of us.

Task 2:

Horror at the Globe:

Y1: https://www.blogger.com/u/1/blog/post/edit/7332563736841736639/1127539371974939136

Y2: https://www.blogger.com/u/1/blog/post/edit/7332563736841736639/3245807476097068450

Peter Pan:

Y2:https://www.blogger.com/u/1/blog/post/edit/7332563736841736639/7825968578374809777

Zest Theatre:

Y1&2: https://www.blogger.com/u/1/blog/post/edit/7332563736841736639/5852471137776400151

Acting for Screen:

Y1: https://www.blogger.com/u/1/blog/post/edit/7332563736841736639/188568505342595728

New Views Writing Competition:

Y1: https://www.blogger.com/u/1/blog/post/edit/7332563736841736639/7269877620791660636

Task 4:

From the moment i started college, to right now as im writing this, i have constantly tried to improve and refine my craft, this is what i want to do with the rest of my life. I need to stay on top and always look for ways to challenge myself. This is the most competitive job market in the world and im throwing my hat in the ring to hopefully eventually do this for a living. There a few words that can be given to accurately describe my journey in a concise setting, if i was to do so id be listing things for hours, there has been many challenges in and outside of roles ive had to face, even when i wasn't feeling up to it, i put the role first and i have never regretted that decision. Acting is where i feel at home, where i can express myself in the best way i know how. I never could have imagined that i would be at the point i am now and im not going to lie, the thought of the future scares me.

No one has future vision, and while im terrified of what it holds, even if i did have it i wouldn't use it for this. The journey is the most important part, not the destination and i have enjoyed every second of it, if it continues this way for my journey as an actor i will be okay with it, no matter where i end up. I can confidently say that my fear of line learning has disappeared, i cant prove myself wrong so many times and continue to have the same fear, yet i will always have nerves, the jitters before a show, before going on stage. I hope those never go away, it reminds me that i am scared and its okay to be, it also gives me the biggest motivation to prove myself wrong, i will continue to do so no matter the cost.

Im fully committed to seeing this through to the end. From public services pre police officer to an actor, as some people say, i trained to become a police officer and now im training to one day pretend to be one. I dont believe there could be a more different shift in life choices. I have regretted choices before, 'too few to mention' yet this is not and will for as long as i live continue to never even cross my mind as a regret.

When picking the name for my blog it took me longer than expected, i wanted to pick a quote from something i related to and that would stick with me for my two years at college, and the time after that. So for now and the next show, the one after that and after and so on, i will continue to "Be Loyal to What Matters, and Dont Look Back". 

Thank you for letting me share my experiences, heres to many more.